Skulduggery Pleasant, Dark Nights
by Beatrice Holmes
Summary: Skulduggery and Valkyrie help the Scottish Sanctuary, chaos ensues.
1. What the hell?

**Hiya y'all! I love Skulduggery, and here's my tribute to the detective in the suits and hats. DO NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, READ THIS UNLESS YOU'VE READ THE DYING OF THE LIGHT. SPOILERS SWEETIE. Anyway, cut a long story short, Ghastly's alive, and so is Kenspeckle. OC's welcome.**

 **Beatrice Holmes**

Valkyrie Cain sighed. The trouble began in her first month back in Ireland and Skulduggery had decided to investigate a case for the Scottish Sanctuary. And, just their luck, the Bentley'd broken down in the middle of the deserted highway. Fortunately, it being deserted, Skulduggery was able to use his magic to push the Bentley into the rest lane, unfortunately, it meant that the breakdown service would take about three hours. And then it started to rain, slight at first, then sleeting, then full on bucketing down on the skeleton detective and his partner in solving crime, Valkyrie, who'd yet to properly figure out how to use her powers. Then Skulduggery started humming 'Breakdown' by Jack Johnson, swaying slightly to the music, his powers keeping the rain off his freshly ironed suit. "Oh please just, let me please breakdown, gonna break on down, and i can't stop now." he sang, tapping the rhythm on his knee,

"Skulduggery Pleasant, that is _not_ an appropriate song to be singing right now, because I did _not even want_ to investigate anything for the stupid Scottish Sanctuary, and unlike you, I get wet." Valkyrie exclaimed, running into the Bentley to escape from the rain.

The trouble _really_ began when the hood of the Bentley started smoking, making Valkyrie leap out of the car and into the heavy rain, getting soaked to the skin in bout three and a half seconds flat. "Call. Fletcher. Now."


	2. Hello

"What's that?" Valkyrie asked, her brow furrowed as she peered down the highway. Up ahead there was a burning white light. The light was coming closer and closer, till finally it stopped about ten metres away from her and Skulduggery. "Valkyrie. Run. Now." Skulduggery muttered, his 'eyes' never leaving the ball of light,but Valkyrie Cain didn't move a muscle. Then the white light exploded, and Skulduggery and Valkyrie were engulfed in a blast of light which threw them both backwards, and everything went blank.

The first thing Valkyrie noticed as she slid back into consciousness, was that the rain had stopped, the second thing noticed was her inability to see her hand in front of her face. She blinked until she could see clearly, then slowly stood up to find a figure bending over Skulduggery, she growled and charged at the figure, knocking them over Skulduggery and into the Bentley. "Alright, alright geroff me!" the figure groaned in an unmistakable Australian accent, throwing Valkyrie off. And with that, Valkyrie Cain got her first glimse of the figure, and almost fell over in surprise; she had short brown hair that was cut in a spiky pixie (almost as wild as Fletcher's hair)and grey eyes. She wore a brown leather bomber jacket over a white button up shirt, a pair of light blue denim short shorts and maroon Doc Martens. But that wasn't what surprised Valkyrie most. It was the huge white wings protruding from her back. "Hi! Name's Beatrice, Beatrice Avian, for obvious reasons." She exclaimed, waving her hand excitedly "What did you _do_ to Skulduggery?" Valkyrie asked, her voice dangerously low. Then Skulduggery sat up, and that made Valkyrie go weak at the knees. Skulduggery Pleasant looked up at her from emerald eyes, brushing shaggy brown hair out of his face, his skin tanned, and not waxy, but slightly freckled. "Who are you and what have you done with Skulduggery Pleasant?" "Val! It's me! Watch this!" and with that, he leapt up, spun around and flew up into the air. "I am now Skulduggery Pleasant the man, as opposed to Skulduggery Pleasant the skeleton." Beatrice clapped her hands with delight, sprinted a couple of metres, flapped her wings and joined him, loop-de-looping through the sky, laughing insanely. When she and Skulduggery landed, it was Skulduggery who spoke first. "Valkyrie, I'm sure you've got loads of questions, but I can answer most of them. The reason I brought you here, was not for the Scottish Sanctuary, I was because this young lady here knew a way to bring back my flesh, not a facade. She's probably got a better explanation of the-" he stopped there, gesturing to the wings she'd folded up neatly behind her back. "Like I told you, name's Beatrice Avian, I'm magically ambidextrous and practice both Elemental and Adept magic. You might know my big brother, Fletcher Renn. He's an absolute _pain_ to live with I tell you! Teleporting here there and everywhere. Anyway, back to me. The reason I have an Aussie accent, is because a sorcerer decided it'd be a great idea to kidnap me and take me to Australia, train me as a detective slash mercenery and send me on my way. The wings are the result of me making more friends than enemies. A while back I found myself on Nye's operating table. He was testing out a new experiment, when one of his assistants suggested he put some great whopping wings one me, so here we are." Valkyrie edged closer, gently prodding the white feathers

"But why are your wings so big?" she asked quizzically,

"Because they can support two people stupid, what did you expect, a pair of dainty little faery wings?" Beatrice asked, a little annoyed, then brightened, "Watch this!" she said and smiled, squeezing her eyes tightly shut, curling her hands into fists and pushing her wings back into her body through sheer force of will. "Introductions are done, lets get back!" Skulduggery exclaimed marching over to the Bentley, then noticed the smoking bonnet. "Ah well, I'll just have to fly alongside Valkyrie and we can fly back to Dublin." Valkyrie shook her head and facepalmed.

"You forget Skul, I. Can't. Fly." she said, as slowly and as patronisingly as possible.

"Don't worry Val, you can ride on my back." Beatrice offered, sighing deeply as she turned around and spread her wings, letting Valkyrie Cain clamber onto her back. And with that, three of the world's greatest detectives flew off into the sunset. But they didn't notice the mortal step out of the breakdown truck, squint into the setting sun and watch three people fly off. And that's when the trouble began for _real._


	3. Reunions and earthquakes

Tanith Low stood on the wall of Roarhaven, waiting for Skulduggery and Valkyrie to arrive. Skulduggery'd told her, China and Clarabelle about a girl he'd met in Australia, she said she might be able to bring back his flesh. There was a loud _pop_ and Fletcher Renn appeared beside her. "There he is! Skulduggery told me to meet him here, pretty funny that he didn't tell Val of all people!" Fletcher grinned, then his smile faded, "Who's that- Oh she's back." he said flatly, ignoring Tanith's puzzled expression. The was the beating of wings, and Skulduggery and Beatrice landed on the parapets, Beatrice dropping Valkyrie with a sigh, streching her wings, then on seeng Fletcher, leapt on him, hugging him tightly, then laughing at his confused expression, she curled her hands into fists, squeezed her wings back inside her back and looked up at her older brother, a smile etched on her face, which Fletcher joined with his cocky grin and he hugged her back. "Okay, family reunion's over people, we've got work to do." Skulduggery exclaimed, breaking the silence. Fletcher took Valkyrie's hand and teleported to the great hall of the Sanctuary, closely followed by Skulduggery, Beatrice and Tanith. "What brings you to my humble domain?" China Sorrows asked, waving her hand at Tipstaff to leave the room. "Ah, I see your plan worked!" China exclaimed, gesturing to Skulduggery's flesh and and hair. "Why wasn't I told about this." Valkyrie muttered, looking annoyed,

"Some developments have been made. Ghastly Bespoke has been found in the tunnels of the Sanctuary, along with a certain Kenspeckle Grouse." China said airily with a wave of her hand. Tanith nearly fainted in excitement, but China continued unfazed. "Apearently Ghastly'd hidden Kenspeckle ages ago from Darquesse, a wise move given his extensive science magic knowledge, and her attempts to uncover Aggredion's secrets." Then China saw Beatrice and practically leapt out of her seat, a a faint smile on her lips, "Beatrice sprinted towards the most beautiful woman in the world and gave her a bone-crushing hug. "Hello Tris." China gasped, "I see your brother is here also, could you kindly stop strangling me?" Beatrice blushed and let go of China, hurrying back to Valkyrie and Tanith, with whom she'd become instant friends. "They're in the infirmary if you want to see them." China told them from her throne.

"Go go Power Rangers!" Beatrice yelled, sprinting for the infirmary, with Skulduggey, Fletcher, Tanith and Valkyrie hot on her heels.

"Ghastly!" Tanith yelled, bolting past several surprised doctors and one oblivious Clarabelle and jumping onto the end of his bed, hugging him almost as tightly as Beatrice had to China.

"I missed you too." Ghastly muttered, hugging her back. Then the shockwave hit, knocking plaster from the ceiling, and making the beds shudder.

"Bugger." Beatrice muttered, turning to Fletcher, "Looks like Arki's here to see us." Fletcher nodded and took her arm, teleporting them outside. More shockwaves rocked the building, opening up a hole in the floor, from which an all to familier Texan face poped up. Smiling, her turned to Valkyrie, "Did ya miss me lil' darlin'?" he asked, grabbing hold of her ankles and pulling her down. Skulduggery leapt for her, but she;d already been swallowed up by then earth.

"Ghastly, you up for a bit of a scrap?" he asked his friend,

"Always." the scared boxer jumped out of the hospital bed, Tanith in tow, "Grab your sword Tan, we'll be needing your help." he said to an eager Tanith, who strapped on her sword and walked out of the infirmary, never leaving Ghastly's side.


	4. Old friends

**Hiya y'all! I'd just like to take a moment to thank the fabulous RedIvySparrow and Blufox03. I love you guys! Please check out their accounts! THEY. ARE. AWESOME.**

 **Anyway back to the story. Send me your OC.**

"What the _hell_ Arki, you didn't have to start a bloody earthquake do get our attention you know!" Fletcher Renn hollered at a tall man with dark hair who looked to be about thirty. "You know you could've just _called like a normal person!"_ The ground cracked beside the man, revealing Billy-Ray Sanguine and Valkyrie Cain. Then Tanith, Ghastly and Skulduggery burst out of the Sanctuary, guns blazing.

"William Raymond Sanguine, I am hereby placing you under arrest, on the charge of attempted kidnapping. Now you can take the easy way or the hard way. Preferably the hard way, haven't had a good scrap in ages." Ghastly declared, with a small smile on his face. "Sorry to disappoint, but the lil' darlin' an' me aint going nowhere." and with that he disappeared back underground. Fletcher turned back towards the man.

"How. Dare. You. Do. That. To. MY FRIEND!" He screamed, leaping towards him, but Beatrice held him back,

"That is _not_ a good idea Fletch, remember last time?" She whispered into his ear. Fletcher growled and turned away.

"The end of the world is nigh. Dark Nights are to come." the man recited loudly, his voice deep and booming.

"Yeah right Arkansas, sure." Fletcher called over his shoulder as he walked back towards the Sanctuary. Beatrice, Skulduggery, Tanith and Ghastly hot on his heels.

"Who was that Fletcher? Tell me now." Skulduggery was fuming.

"That was Arkansas Blade, the cheeky bastard showing up here after what he did. Arkansas Blade is the other member of our dysfunctional family. But worst of all, he stepped into the accelerator. He was the one Aggredion tested it on. So, cut a long story short, he's pretty much indestructible." Tanith facepalmed.

"Alright, I know what we have to do. We're going to form ourselves a posse." Skulduggery exclaimed, trying not to sound to happy. "I'm calling an old friend, she's older than me believe it or not. No idea how she survived the war. But then again, that's Taylor for you. Anyway you guys find some others." Skulduggery walked off, flicking his hair off his face. He was loving having flesh and blood again. It was great. "Taylor, it's me, yeah Skulduggery we're going to need your help. Head to the Statue of Liberty, I'll get Fletcher to pick you up, yeah the Teleporter." Skulduggery put down the phone, smiling to himself. Even though he was worried about Val, he couldn't help enjoy this just a _bit,_ it reminded him of the good old days, when he and Taylor would practice magic at the bay near their houses. That'd been in the 70's, not the _nineteen_ seventies, the sixteen seventies. She'd been around one hundred, and a great mentor. She had always had a sarcastic sense of humour, and was very opinionated, you didn't disagree with someone like Taylor. There was a _pop,_ and Taylor Red was standing next to Skulduggery in all long coated-pencil skirted- heeled glory. "Did you miss me?" she asked, shaking his hand firmly

"Do I need to answer that? Really Taylor, I haven't fought with you in years, also haven't heard from you, you aren't causing any trouble." Taylor shrugged, flicking her black red streaked hair with her index finger, laughing when Skulduggery copied. "Fletcher here told me all about his dysfunctional family and Tris' little energy thing that gave you back your pretty handsome if I do say so myself human form." Taylor smirked, looked at Skulduggery's confused face and burst out laughing. "Really Skul? Did you _really think that I was flirting with you?"_

Skulduggery shifted from foot to foot "Noooo." He muttered evasively.

"There you are Skul! Well we found an old fried of Tanith's, her name's Theory McCloud." Ghastly called from the doorway, Theory McCloud looked about 15, had long dirty blond hair, deep gray-blue eyes and wore black jeans, t-shirt and boots. Skulduggery cleared his throat. "Okay. We;ve got Tanith, Ghastly, Fletcher, Beatrice, Taylor and Theory. Now, for all we know, Sanguine could be sitting underneath us this very moment. So we're going to have to pay a visit to a prisoner. Dreylan Scarab is the only chance we've got at finding Arkansas, Sanguine and Val. Any questions?" Beatrice raised her hand,

"How can we be sure that Scarab wont be leading us into a trap?" She asked, her head cocked to on side.

"We can't." Taylor replied, "But then again, this mission should only be attempted by complete and utter lunatics."

"Are you trying to deter me?" Beatrice asked,

"God no. I'm trying to recruit you." Taylor answered, with all her usual sarcasm. Fletcher held out his arms.

"Link up everybody!" he yelled, and they disappeared with a loud _POP!_


	5. Painful reminders

"Mr Blade, as much as I'm enjoin' the whole 'kidnapping the lil' darlin' to piss off the skeleton' plan, I cant help thinking' tha' we've backed ourselves into a bit of a tight corner. Ya see, they've got Taylor Red, Theory McCloud and Beatrice Avian for God's sake, and don't even get me started on the scarred tailor and the sword lady, not to mention they've got a bleeding' teleporter. How the _hell_ are we going to survive this one?" William-Raymond Sanguine asked Arkansas Blade, his head cocked and a worried look on his face. There was a loud pop, and he felt the cold steel of a softball bat. "Aw hell." he muttered, and Fletcher Renn swung the bat with all his might, and the Texan dropped to the floor with a thud. "Little brother, you should not've done that." Arkansas spoke up, twisting his left hand in Fletcher's direction, snapping the bones in his legs. Fletcher screamed and crumpled. "James!" Beatrice screamed and sprinted over to her brother. "Thanks a bunch Tris, way to ruin an ambush." Theory McCloud sauntered out from behind a wall. "But oh well, sometimes things don't go according to _plan."_ Then all hell broke loose.

Taylor pulled out a red armchair and sat down. Then with a flick of her wrist, a creature from the caves under Gordon's mansion lumbered out of the shadows. That's when they heard the scream. "Billy-Ray's gone." Skulduggery noted, gesturing to the place where the Texan'd been as best he could, while simultaneously throwing fireballs and firing his revolver. Tanith nodded, and ran of to find Val and Billy-Ray. She'd definitely enjoy beating some sense into the latter. Beatrice had managed to get Fletcher to sit crouched next to Taylor's chair, and was now smashing walls of air into Arkansas with Ghastly. "Taylor look out! There's a creature from Gordon's caves!" Skulduggery spun, and attempted to extricate Taylor from her chair, but she stayed put. "Meet Geoffrey. I found him in the caves." Taylor said proudly. 'I can control people. That's my discipline. Learnt it off some guy on New 'Ork." She said, her New York tone evidence of her time overseas. "Geoffrey, ATTACK!" the creature lumbered towards Blade. Blade threw fireballs, slammed walls of air into it, but for all his power, he obviously didn't know that the cave creatures were impervious to magic. Then he realised, and with a loud _pop!_ he was gone. "Well, to be honest I thought he'd put up a bit more of a fight. But at least the good guys won." Taylor mused, her head in her hands. She flicked her wrist again and the creature imploded in a cloud of dust. "Look what I found!" Tanith called from the doorway. Standing beside her was Valkyrie, and slung over her shoulder in a fireman's lift, was Billy-Ray Sanguine. There was a muffled 'Ow.' and Valkyrie whipped up a ball of energy, used it to scoop up the Texan, and hurled him across the room.


	6. That can't be good

**Hello my lovelies! Christmas Eve, YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I'm soo excited. As a present for my favourite little readers, review with your request for a story. I will do any ships/OC's/random crossovers from the following: Sherlock, Skulduggery Pleasant, Doctor Who, Hunger Games, Divergent, Sailor Moon, Oksa Pollock, and The girl who circumnavigated Fairyland in a ship of her own making. Let mee know! No story too weird, no request too big. I will not say no, and all request stories will be put into a story called 'Christmas in Fandomland' hope y'all like it**

 **Love y'all, Beatrice Holmes**

The girl wearing the dark blue duffel coat and black jeans' eyes flitted up towards a man wearing a suit and hat. She hummed 'One week' by Barenaked Ladies as she walked down the busy Melbourne streets, the last minute Christmas shoppers rushing to find something for their families. She made her way into an alley and shrugged off the coat. The man in the suit and the hat was waiting for her. She flicked her spiky hair out of her eyes, smio ling to herself as a tall, leather-clad woman, and a muscled man wearing a hat walked up beside her, closely followed by a girl in black, and tow other women, one in a pinstriped pencil skirt, the other in black. "Should be right about-" the girl in the black jeans tied the coat around her waist and felt the wall of the alley. "Aha! Found it!" she exclaimed, pressing a small spray-painted skull, which slid across to reveal a keyhole. A young man with spiky hair appeared from nowhere.

"Why when Blade snapped your legs, did Tris call you James?" the man in the suit asked, his voice velvety and his head cocked,

"Ah, yeah _that._ " He answered, glaring at the girl who was now emptying a small backpack. "James O'Rutledge is my given name. Don't you go getting any ideas Tanith, especially you Skulduggery. And before you ask, I don't know Arkansas' given name, because he took a name before I was born, he was born when me Mam was about seventeen.", he gestured to the girl, who'd found a sandwich in the backpack and was sniffing it tentatively, "She's Imogen O'Rutledge."

"Fabulous! There it is! I don't think that's okay to eat." the girl slipped a bright green key into the lock. It made a hissing noise and a door popped out of the wall. "Told ya the entrance was here!" she said proudly and marched through the door.

They were greeted by a short woman with long green hair that almost reached the floor and who was wearing a short dress with various different kinds of butterflies emblazoned on it in several shades of lurid pink."Hi! Name's Daesy Ceasar, I'm like the Aussie version of my cousin, Tipstaff." She said in a surprisingly deep and masculine voice. Daesy turned to Beatrice "Good ta see ya 'gain Tris." she said, shaking her hand vigorously, and then to all of them, "Elder Moore's the first door on the right. See ya soon guys!" she said, waving as they passed.

"What. The. Hell. Is up with her?" Valkyrie asked, her eyebrows furrowed, once the Administrator was out of earshot.

"Eh, you get used to it." Beatrice replied, shrugging.

"Elder Moore? Are you here?" Skuldugery called, stepping into the office of the Australian Grand Mage with Beatrice, while hill the rest of them waited outside, they'd agreed that Skulduggery and Beatrice would do the talking.

"Shit." Beatrice muttered. Grand Mage Annikaren Moore of Australia was lying in her chair, with a red smile cut across her throat.


	7. Trial and error

**Hello my lovelies! Christmas Eve, YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! I'm soo excited. As a present for my favourite little readers, review with your request for a story. I will do any ships/OC's/random crossovers from the following: Sherlock, Skulduggery Pleasant, Doctor Who, Hunger Games, Divergent, Sailor Moon, Oksa Pollock, and The girl who circumnavigated Fairyland in a ship of her own making. Let mee know! No story too weird, no request too big. I will not say no, and all request stories will be put into a story called 'Christmas in Fandomland' hope y'all like it**

 **Love y'all, Beatrice Holmes**

The girl wearing the dark blue duffel coat and black jeans' eyes flitted up towards a man wearing a suit and hat. She hummed 'One week' by Barenaked Ladies as she walked down the busy Melbourne streets, the last minute Christmas shoppers rushing to find something for their families. She made her way into an alley and shrugged off the coat. The man in the suit and the hat was waiting for her. She flicked her spiky hair out of her eyes, smio ling to herself as a tall, leather-clad woman, and a muscled man wearing a hat walked up beside her, closely followed by a girl in black, and tow other women, one in a pinstriped pencil skirt, the other in black. "Should be right about-" the girl in the black jeans tied the coat around her waist and felt the wall of the alley. "Aha! Found it!" she exclaimed, pressing a small spray-painted skull, which slid across to reveal a keyhole. A young man with spiky hair appeared from nowhere.

"Why when Blade snapped your legs, did Tris call you James?" the man in the suit asked, his voice velvety and his head cocked,

"Ah, yeah _that._ " He answered, glaring at the girl who was now emptying a small backpack. "James O'Rutledge is my given name. Don't you go getting any ideas Tanith, especially you Skulduggery. And before you ask, I don't know Arkansas' given name, because he took a name before I was born, he was born when me Mam was about seventeen.", he gestured to the girl, who'd found a sandwich in the backpack and was sniffing it tentatively, "She's Imogen O'Rutledge."

"Fabulous! There it is! I don't think that's okay to eat." the girl slipped a bright green key into the lock. It made a hissing noise and a door popped out of the wall. "Told ya the entrance was here!" she said proudly and marched through the door.

They were greeted by a short woman with long green hair that almost reached the floor and who was wearing a short dress with various different kinds of butterflies emblazoned on it in several shades of lurid pink."Hi! Name's Daesy Ceasar, I'm like the Aussie version of my cousin, Tipstaff." She said in a surprisingly deep and masculine voice. Daesy turned to Beatrice "Good ta see ya 'gain Tris." she said, shaking her hand vigorously, and then to all of them, "Elder Moore's the first door on the right. See ya soon guys!" she said, waving as they passed.

"What. The. Hell. Is up with her?" Valkyrie asked, her eyebrows furrowed, once the Administrator was out of earshot.

"Eh, you get used to it." Beatrice replied, shrugging.

"Elder Moore? Are you here?" Skuldugery called, stepping into the office of the Australian Grand Mage with Beatrice, while hill the rest of them waited outside, they'd agreed that Skulduggery and Beatrice would do the talking.

"Shit." Beatrice muttered. Grand Mage Annikaren Moore of Australia was lying in her chair, with a red smile cut across her throat.


	8. Prison Break!

**Hiya y'all! Lemme guess, y'all wanna know wha's gonna happen to Skully and Beatrice? Well, here it comes…..**

Taylor Red and Theory McCloud were present at Beatrice and Skulduggery's funeral. It was quiet and sad, with not that many people there.

"Hi Fletcher!" a tall girl who's blond hair was pulled back in a high ponytail walked towards Fletcher Renn. "Name's Faery Shadows, and that there's Oksa Melancholy." she said brightly, thumbing behind her towards a girl with waist length black hair and a scar that ran across her face and halfway down her neck. Faery's boots were covered in buckles, and the khaki jeans she wore had holes in them. Her black t-shirt had the 'Monty Python's flying circus' logo written across the front and her hands were criss-crossed with hundreds of tiny pale scars. Her comrade wore a sleeveless black tail coat, a black fedora with a white band, a Totoro t-shirt and a pair of lime green shorts. "Oh hi!" She said, turning around to face him. Her voice was crystal clear, and her eyes watchful, like she suspected someone to attack at any moment. "You are Fletcher Renn right?" Faery asked, her head cocked.

"Look girls, I'm a little busy at the moment. I'm on my way to my little sister's funeral. So can we do this some other time?" he asked, the anger rising in his voice.

"Oh. Right. Sure. We knew your sister, we're gonna miss 'er." The strange girls walked off….

"Skulduggery Pleasant. You want to visit Skulduggery Pleasant? That's ridiculous!" The security guard sneered at the cloaked figure standing at the gate of the prison in Hungary. "Well, I s'pose so." he sighed and the gates creaked open, and the figure slipped inside. She made her way over to a skeleton dressed in orange who was sitting cross-legged on the grass. "Come on Skully." she whispered to him. The skeleton looked up.

"Beatrice? What the bloody hell?" he asked, his nonexistent eyebrows furrowing.

"Facade." she muttered, sliding her hand under his jumpsuit and tapping his collarbone. "Go into the bathroom and put these on.' she handed him a parcel.

The skeleton returned, not looking so much like a skeleton anymore. "Hurry up, you're gonna be seen." she grabbed his arm and yanked him towards the gate.

"Stop in the name of the law!" a portly guard, scrammed in a surprisingly high voice.

"Oh, put a sock in it ya bastard." Beatrice sighed, flinging off her hood and throwing a fireball so fast, no-one even registered her flinging the fireball, but they'll never forget they way the guard starting screaming "Mummy!" and dancing around, trying to douse his flaming face. "And now, we run." Beatrice sprinted for the gate, snapping out her palms and flinging the gate off it's hinges, Skulduggery hot on her heels.

 **Whaddaya think m'dears? Any good? R-E-V-I-E-W P-L-E-A-S-E! Thanks y'all fer reading!**


	9. Naughty naughty

**Look whose baaaack! Skull and the gang are off hiatus! Hope you like it m-hearties! ~Beatrice Holmes.**

Valkyrie Cain got out of bed bleary eyed. "Well _that_ was a weird dream." She said to herself. "For starters, Tris is a lot more dramatic, she'd probably blow the whole place up, find Skulduggery and then resurrect him, also Skulduggery's got his flesh back. Ha! I'm talking to myself." She stopped halfway out the door and got back into bed, snuggling under the covers.

"You get five minutes y'hear me?" the prison guard said to Fletcher Renn. He nodded and stepped inside the cell. Beatrice Avian was sitting on the small table meditating, her legs crossed, her wings stretched out and her eyes closed. "Earth to Beatrice, this is your captain speaking!" Fletcher yelled.  
"Good Lord Fletch, you scared the crap outta me!" Beatrice yelled. She slid off the table and her expression softened. "Get me out of here. Please." She sat down on the small bed. "The food is terrible."  
" _That's_ your problem with this situation? The bad _food_? You and Skulduggery are in jail for a crime you didn't commit and your problem with imprisonment is the _food_?" Beatrice got up off the bed.  
"I was joking. You and the gang have to get me and Skull outta here."  
"Yer five minutes er up." the prison guard said, his lip curled. Beatrice hugged Fletcher and the prison guard snorted. "Enough of the brotherly love children, she's in prison not the Telly Tubbies." he hissed.

"Someone here to see you." A burly prison guard with a handlebar moustache said. Skulduggery looked up, brushing his brown hair out of his eyes. Ghastly and Tanith marched in. Ghastly hugged a surprised looking Skulduggery. "We're going to get you outta here Skulduggery. You and Beatrice." Tanith smiled.  
"How is that crazy girl?" Skulduggery asked, resting his chin on his hands.  
"Fletcher's visiting her as we speak. Val wanted to come but you're only allowed two visitors at a time." Ghastly explained. The prison guard rushed back in. "Out. All of you. We're evacuating. There's been an explosion in the west wing." Ghastly and Tanith rushed out, followed by Skulduggery, whose hands were cuffed behind his back. Once they were outside the prison guard's face rippled and Dexter Vex smiled at Skulduggery. "Oh you bastard." Ghastly muttered.

Beatrice was woken by the sound of her cell door opening. "Whatcha want?" she asked.  
The prison guard's face rippled and Saracen Rue leant on the door frame, hands in his pockets. "Saracen! You found her yet?" Donegan Bane stuck his head in the door.  
"Hiya Donny! Gracious with ya?" Beatrice asked, pushing past Saracen, who grabbed her wrist. She smiled and put a finger to Saracen's lips. "Shhh." she whispered and skipped off behind Donegan.

 **Oooh! Cliffhangers are my middle name!**


End file.
